A Small case of conflict of Interest
Me and my angelic wife are heading to our favorite Sunday restaurant, the Ding How II. Since it is Sunday, churches with full parking lots line the boulevard to the restaurant. I’m speeding by, because my stomach is sending a wireless message to the brain that the body needs refueling, fast. Therefore, I’m driving like a madman.
Hey, there must be a police chief’s convention in town. the street is full of police cars. Several black and whites are gathered together in front of every house of worship on Churchlane Blvd. It’s either a convention or hoodlums have snatched the collection plate at every church we pass! What an audacious, sacrilegious, but meticulous bunch of thugs. They’ve sequentially knocked over every church on the street - haven’t missed one to judge by the conglomeration of cop cars at the base of each steeple. “No, no,” says my celestial wife, who momentarily descends to earth, “they’re preparing for church to let out, so they can direct traffic.” She smiles angelically.
Don’t get me wrong. I like churches and I like their inhabitants. Statistically speaking, I’d rather meet three armed churchgoers in that proverbial dark alley than three unarmed non-churchgoers. But from a municipal point of view - especially on Sunday morning when I’m hungry and intolerant of slowpokes between me and the Ding How II - my positive prejudice fades. I speed up to flee from the traffic tangle that a talented traffic cop can create out of a church driveway and two automobiles.
Alas, too late. An open palm at the end of a blue-shirted arm almost comes through my windshield. Three cars drift out of the church parking lot. Twenty of us Churchlane Boulevard voyagers sit motionless, waiting, waiting, sniffing exhaust fumes; and making a significant contribution to melting the polar ice cap.
My wife, the angel, smiles. “Isn’t that nice - that the city cares.” That’s a woman talking. She casts her divine smile on the slice of humanity that calls Huntsville, Alabama home. Not me. Hungry and cranky, I’m wondering how many muggings, burglaries, rapes and devious thieveries are taking place on the other side of town while these caring policemen impede my progress toward Peking duck lightly spiced with ginger. And that’s only my first objection. What about religious equality? I wonder if First Baptist (with two congregants on the city council) gets more blue-shirted waving arms than United Methodist? Not to mention the folks over at the Greek Orthodox Congregation, who don’t get a single traffic director for their 50-car parking lot. Who’s going to make sure they get home promptly for a nice Sunday lunch?
I know what you faithful are thinking - the Lord will provide. But don’t jump to any conclusions. In an imperfect world it’s way down on HIS list of injustices. He won’t get to it ‘til Tuesday morning. By then His worshipers could perish of malnutrition in the parking lot; unless He sends manna.
And how about separation of church and state. Consider those free thinkers in our fair city who don’t believe their deity resides in a building made of bricks, boards, or even Jerusalem stone. Call them the unaffiliated. Their tax money is in the pot. There’s even a few residents who believe in Nothing. Their creed may be vulnerable to argument, but their distaste for tax dollars to speed up church goers is, shall we say, understandable. Where are all those sign-waving activists who don’t want a Christmas creche on the city hall lawn - where are the zealots who think the Ten Commandments contaminate the court room? Why don’t they worry about me sitting in this fumey line and watching my Peking duck swoop to another customer’s table.
And why aren’t these Traffic Management Specialists arresting criminals? Burglars, I think, must love Sundays. Policemen are all on the churchy side of town, far removed from the high crime neighborhoods. All the small, criminal mind has to remember is don’t knock over a church or any business close to a church, because that’s where the cops are.
But my meditation over this danger is interrupted by a female scream in my right ear. “YOU REALLY OUGHTA CHECK YOUR FACTS!” says the wife. Maybe the city doesn’t provide churches with municipal traffic services, Maybe your city doesn’t pay, she’s arguing. Reality. Whatta bother. But since I value domestic serenity, I check.
Well, it turns out that in some cities the churches, not the city budget, pay for traffic management. They employ off-duty cops, of course.
But remember that the temporary church employee in the blue uniform, with the outstretched arm, wears a silver badge and carries a 38 Special paid for by me. And it’s MY uniform the officer is wearing and MY police car that blocks the third lane that I could use to loop around this roadblock, if I wasn’t afraid of MY 38 special. Who is this keeper of the streets? Could I hire him - uniform and all - to block off my street so we could have a neighborhood stickball game? And don’t tell me that since the officer is off-duty and he’s paid by the church that justice prevails. Firstly, policemen, whatever their shift status are always on duty. They possess a inherent authority ungoverned by the clock, that shouldn’t be purchased by any organization other than the city - that’s me - the taxpayer - and therefore employer of law enforcement personnel.
Church or city; one way or another I’m the ultimate payee either with my time or my taxes. Maybe both. I vote for upping the cop’s pay and banning outside employment.
Comments (10)
Gil Guillory
I could not disagree more with this rant. It is indeed the case that peace officers such as Sheriff's deputies, city policemen, and constables are hired part-time to direct traffic at intersections which temporarily require it, including office buildings, schools, churches, parades, and other events.
But it is certainly not the case that a man who chooses the profession of policing and ends up working for the state (as do several other professions, such as some doctors, some scientists, and virtually all professors) is thereby owned 24/7 by the community at large because of that, and cannot seek remuneration on the market on his own time.
Published: February 24, 2007 12:39 PM
Lisa Casanova
Gil,
Certainly you are correct that such an individual has every right to seek renumeration on the market on his own time. But I wonder- if you move your car forward when he hasn't told you to, do you still get a ticket? Hiring people to ensure that traffic flows smoothly is one thing. Renting out the enforcement power of the government seems like it could have problems.
Published: February 24, 2007 12:43 PM
Jake Savage
I disagree with the "church and state" aspect of this argument. Police officers are tasked with easing traffic problems, regardless of their causes. Officers would perform the same service for sporting events, concerts, protests, and many other events that would otherwise cause larger traffic difficulties. The responsibility of the city to monitor traffic does not disappear because the reason for the traffic is related to a religious gathering.
Published: February 24, 2007 1:37 PM
Gil Guillory
Lisa,
In Texas, it is my understanding that anyone (does not even have to be a licensed private guard) can direct traffic in a temporary situation. A good example is when a wreck occurs. It is true that people are more likely to obey someone in uniform, and it is also true that violating the traffic direction of a peace officer is a misdemeanor.
However, I don't find this as troubling as you seem to. If the roads were not socialized, it would most likely come to be that the road company had a licensing program to qualify (private) officers in the proper administration of traffic on their roads, and that such license would empower the officer to cite a motorist for failing to obey a traffic direction. The citation would be a type of trespass.
I'm not claiming that we live in the best of all possible worlds, but I don't really see the outrage in a cop directing traffic for a church in his off-duty time. More to your point, I don't think I've ever seen or heard of a person being cited for failure to obey a traffic order in such a situation.
Published: February 24, 2007 2:04 PM
billwald
I suppose the city could install traffic lights at every large church with pressure switches in the pavement These days a new traffic light installation costs a minimum $250k.
Published: February 24, 2007 3:15 PM
ChristianCB
billwald. Traffic lights don't use pressure switches. The lines on the roads by traffic lights are just grooves in the ground that have wire coiled around. The lights use induction to see if a vehicle is at the light or not.
Pointless nugget of knowledge.
Published: February 25, 2007 2:05 PM
ted roberts
Gil, law enforcement is not like garbage collecection, or issueing drivers licences or even tax collecting. It is the core ot the state's authority which rests upon force. What if i did resist the officers direction to halt? I would be violating the law. In which case the conflict of interest becomes clear when the officer, at that period of time, is NOT working for the state, but a non municipal agency. This entity does NOT have the power to arrest me, punish me or of in fact control any aspect of my behavior. They borrowed it from the state. Thanks for your comment - there is room for debate here ted
Published: February 25, 2007 7:02 PM
jdavidb
Well, you can count me as a churchgoer who agrees with this post (up until the last sentence). I've actually never been a part of a church large enough to warrant such special handling, although the threshold may be lower in Alabama. Other than special services like this for funeral processions, I had no idea anything like this occurred.
I'm not too fond of school zones, either, while we're on the subject. I've never understood why we have school zones at the high school level. Are we just admitting that the first ten years of our public education are not good enough to teach a (basically grown) young man to get out of the street? How about school zones for church schools?
How about fast zones for people who want to get to work and do something productive and whose kids will never be a part of any school system? Like me? :) My kids will know not to run out in the street, too, and until then, they won't be walking around unattended.
Personally, I had to navigate my way into and out of my church parking lot this morning, and this evening, with no help from the law. And it'd be nice if the main street I turn off of to get to the minor street the house of worship lies on didn't have a single turn lane that needs to be simultaneously utilized by people going my way and the other way (this has almost been a wreck for us several times). It'd also be nice if the city weren't threatening to confiscate property between the street and the wall behind our pulpit in order to widen the street (the street needs to widen in the other direction in order to match up in such a way as to eliminate the dual-use single turn lane problem -- but there's a Starbucks there, so that's not going to happen). I'm worried our preacher's going to get hit by a car some Sunday morning. It'd also be nice if the city weren't preventing us from selling our extra property by zoning it in such a way as to make it useless to any prospective buyer.
Sigh.....
Published: February 25, 2007 10:20 PM
ted roberts
David, I thoroughly sympathize with your hatred of school zones for older kids. Great comment. What an incentive to learn. Learn and you don't get knocked down by a car. Daydream during class and you end up in the hospital. I'm nominating you for chairman of our school board. Thanks for your coments, ted
Published: February 26, 2007 10:07 AM
jdavidb
Thank you Ted, but if nominated, I will not run, and if elected, I will not "serve." ;)
But in seriousness, I'm glad you appreciated my comment. :)
Published: February 27, 2007 8:06 AM