Comments (18)

• Manuel Lora

  Government needs to heavily regulate the sale of music both from online retailers such as Amazon.com and electronic downloads (iTunes). These outlets provide unfair competition for the big companies and popular artists since they can achieve even higher recognition on the Internet. Furthermore, the prices are often too low and this hurts small local stores who are constantly going out of business due to the excessive amount of savage capitalism.
  
  
  I propose the creation of a Music Handicapper General whose purpose will be to equalize the supply and the prices of music across the retail spectrum. He shall have the power, for instance, to lower the number of Mariah Carey CDs for sale, enabling for others to compete fairly with her. The MHG will be able to control the content of the music. If an album is considered to be too good or too crappy, the MHG can decide to eliminate tracks or add some in order to maximize social welfare by increase everyone's utility for each album.
  
  
  The time has come for us to enact a system of social justice for music. We do it for people, so why not with CDs?

  Published: April 1, 2006 8:30 AM

• Rob

  We need LESS government regulation on anything. Not MORE. Besides, beaureaucrats are inherently inefficent at anything. They're lazy, complacent and condescending, arrogant and moronic on their best days. Having more of them intruding into more of anyone's business is never cost effective...or effective at all, for that matter.

  Why is it everybody seems to want the government to take care of things for them? We are intelligent and resourceful enough to regulate ourselves, folks. Let's not be so quick to have the government jump into any situation. In fact, there's a lot that the government needs to be OUT of.

  Published: April 1, 2006 9:46 AM

• Warren B.

  Libertarians need to cool down sometimes:
  most of their arguments are exciting yet there will always be some kind of people not agreeing with the harsh world that liberalism seems to imply: some welfare defenders.

  If you ‘d really want to do practical politics, and honor democracy at the same time, you would need to keep perhaps one day of the year on which occasion interventionists can still express themselves and apply their view on society!

  Suppose for example we ‘d see every government action restrained all year long except for one day: on that particular day, the whole country would turn into one big dictatorship...

  Nobody would be allowed to do anything without complying with the severe day regulation sheets. Controlling agents would be everywhere, sending people not complying (yet it would be practically impossible to comply, like in every dictatorship) to prison for one day...

  Taxes on non-diet food and gasoline would be absolutely outrageous on that single day too of course, not speaking about tariffs...

  Yet you have to see the good part as well, as everyone without a job on that day, would get a day's pay from the employment agency, at 150% of his salary record, and of course everyone would love to get State paid surgery on this occasion too...

  As for music since this is the theme of the article, there are some cultural differences between governments to take into account...

  In the US for instance, downloads would only be allowed in the presence of a State officer sitting with you at the computer, and personally deleting the file after you hear them once. whereas in France, all musical downloads should be necessarily free for the people on that day.

  Libertarians wouldn’t care because they’d all be out of prison the next day.
  Interventionists would love it too because they’d see a lot of egoistic capitalists behind bars for one day at least.

  Now that’s what I call politics for all the people.
  

  Published: April 1, 2006 10:36 AM

• jeffrey

  Umm, just so that everyone is clear, this is an April Fools' article, i.e. satire.

  Published: April 1, 2006 10:46 AM

• Angela

  Hello Maloney, I read your article with a mixture of emotions; but strongest among these emotions was that of incredulity! I dont understand what all the hulabaloo is all about concerning the astronomical success of Mariah Carey- it was not an over night thing. Mariah sang her heart out over a period of ten years to corner her market as you call it. it was not handed to her on a platter of gold as it seems today's local artits seem to want it handed over to them! Mariah emerged right in the middle of a very competitetive era with big wigs like Whitney and Madonna dominating the markets as it were; but Mariah never request for one of her singles to be featured in any of their albums before she could emerge from their shadows.
  she won them over! i myeself was finally won over by Mariah finally in 1997. so intead of thes no talent lazy artists making all sorts of unartistic noises looking for a leg up - let them bring such talents as the world has never heard of and letz see if MC or any other Heavenly legend would be able to stand in front of astronomical sales! Mariah is presently the eigth wonder of the world with her heaven based voice so the justice people should go take a skinny dip and cool their heels!

  Published: April 1, 2006 11:21 AM

• Mike

  I hope those first three posts fall under satire as well, if not, YIKES! They have obviosly not grabed the ever so subtle nature of mises.org, haha. Great laugh though, Thanks.

  Published: April 1, 2006 11:22 AM

• Stephen W. Carson

  Also see Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities (50 second audio) from the Onion Radio News. Worth it just for the word "monotheopoly" alone.

  Published: April 1, 2006 4:42 PM

• Eriks Goodwin

  At first I was agast and wondered if the site had been hacked for such nonsense to be posted, but I finally got it... Happy April Fools Day. :-)

  Published: April 1, 2006 5:44 PM

• William

  Actually we need to stop this kind of monopoly in most other areas of entertainment also. I am thinking about sports where the monopolists (Some call them winners but we know better. ) keep the poor other teams from winning. What about Minor Leagues? They are being beaten down by the monopolists in the Major Leagues. Where is ES when you need him?

  Published: April 1, 2006 6:54 PM

• Paul Edwards

  I thought Warren's comments were definitely satirical and absolutely hysterical! If the article itself is half as funny as that comment, which i haven't read yet, i'll be laughing throughout.

  I even laughed MAO the second time through it! Outrageously funny. Thanks!

  Damn! I just read it a third time and laughed even harder. I sure hope that was intended satire, because it was truly funny. I’m sincere.

  Published: April 1, 2006 7:46 PM

• Thomas J. Van Wyk

  Ha! Good stuff!

  I really didn't know this was a facetious piece until I read Mr. Tucker saying "Umm, just so that everyone is clear, this is an April Fools' article, i.e. satire." (Then again, I forgot it was April Fools' Day, anyway.)

  Really, though, she's a terrible singer. I guess my rejection of mainstream music has been more severe than even I would have admitted - I had no idea that many people liked her that Congress would be told that she's a monopolist...

  Great article!

  Regards,
  Thomas J. Van Wyk

  Published: April 1, 2006 8:57 PM

• Warren B.

  Thanks Paul, you're my best public!
  Thanks C.J Maloney whose beautiful invitation corresponded to a great necessity.

  Published: April 2, 2006 3:25 AM

• Angelo

  I didn't think it was funny. Plus, it was an April Fools' article that went up on April 2.

  Published: April 2, 2006 3:48 PM

• Jon M

  It wasn't until you mentioned the example of Becky Gebeam that I realised it was an April Fools joke. The scary thing is, the scenario isn't implausible.

  Published: April 2, 2006 10:32 PM

• GreginOz

  I laffed & laffed, but hope the first comments are indeed satire! In the cartoon voice at the end of Mr Magoo..."ah, CJ, you've done it again!" Regards.

  Published: April 4, 2006 2:02 AM

• CJ Maloney

  To All:

  I once again thank you all for your comments; complimentary or otherwise. Judging by the responses I received, very few people got the joke. As the writer, this is entirely my fault and I apologize.

  To those of you that did get the joke, wasn’t the Bono quote great? I am fully convinced that he would say exactly that! +)

  Warm regards:
  CJ Maloney
  

  Published: April 4, 2006 10:09 AM

• Warren B.

  Every joke (especially a good one) has some truth in it though. Laughing at libertarian bullshit means that inside, you know what's no libertarian bullshit though.

  Published: April 4, 2006 5:34 PM

• Bruno Bondarovsky

  I'm so happy I've looked for the comments!
  I've been thinking of this article the whole week.
  Excellent joke!
  Maybe because is not my native language, maybe I'm really stupid! :-)
  Regards from Brazil,
  Bruno.
  

  Published: April 5, 2006 12:10 PM