Sometimes the regular news reads just like The Onion, such as this one on the growing controversy about a new liquor drink called Spykes.
Apparently many people think that this sweet drink in a nail-polish-style bottle is, gasp, being marketed to young people. Anheuser-Busch says that this is ridiculous, why they’ve done no marketing at all! And to get into the website requires that you give a birth date, and surely no one would lie about that, simply to see that AMAZING GRAPHICS, experience the super sophisticated flash technology, and hear the innovative music that changes its orchestration when you wave over the flavor of your choice! You have to see it to believe it, but, please, no one under the age of 21.
“It’s the perfect drink for a child,†lamented Judi Vining, coordinator of the Coalition to Prevent Underage Drinking in Long Beach, N.Y.. “Prom season and graduation season are coming up,†said Vining, who notes how easy it would be to conceal Spykes. “It’s scary. We don’t want to see people die.”
Time for a government crackdown! “These new products appear to be marketed for young people,†warns a bulletin on Spykes issued in February by the Michigan State Police Tri-County Narcotics Team. It puts officers on alert that Spykes “could/will be easily overlooked by patrol officers, especially in a woman’s purse.”
Maybe Congressional hearings are in order.
Surely such negative publicity about a dangerous, delicious, and fun drink, that contains caffeine, gensing, and guarana and comes in three exciting flavors such as “hot melons” and “spicey mango,” will do nothing enhance the drink’s popularity.
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As the Onion recently observed, “If only there were some people around whose job it was to raise these children.”
Maybe we can vote on some kind of program to do that, and it would be a good solution. But I think we’d want to have strict regulations and monitoring in place, so we can track progress and adjust as needed until we achieve success.
Minors aren’t attracted to bright colors (like bugs or something). They are attracted to forbidden “adult things”… you are much more likely to see miller light and “SoCo” in a minor’s possession than you’re likely to see this kind of thing.
These prohibitionists irritate me. They spend so much money inculcating our youth with paradoxical non conformity principles (when it comes to drugs and alcohol). They spend my money so they can advertise what’s best for me on tv!
It’s time to bring in the Institute for Reverse Psychology (IRP)in order to instigate counterveiling motivational forces.
Why does caring about the children invariably involve harassing adults?
If this bothers them, I’d like to see their reaction to candy flavored meth.
Ok… are they serious about the fact that this drink will kill people?
I know that in many countries, it is illegal to mix alcohol and Red bull together (Note : not illegal in South Africa, where I live… for obvious reasons…) This is because Red Bull is an ‘upper’ while the alcohol is a ‘downer’ causing some people (apparently) to have had heart attacks or gone into a coma.
Yep… a coma.
So… by the quick look at the contents of these drinks, I would say it’s the same. But I am wondering why the drink is not illegal all over the country…?
This reminds me a liquor whose advertisement mostly shows its strength and power which is transferred to the drinker. As a result, in case this drinker meets any trouble at the bar or somewhere, he can easily topple down or ‘pulverize’ his enemy. Personally, I think that’s super violent. And now, here comes another drink which is intended for sale to young people. I personally think this is not a problem about lack of effective marketing strategies rather this is a question about selling the right product to the right customers.
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