Alcoholic-Beverage-Consumer Confidence Skyrockets:
NEW YORK—Alcoholic-beverage-consumer confidence hit a record high Friday between the hours of 5 p.m. and 3 a.m., briefly reaching 105.3 points before dropping to 94.2 at last call.“Weekend market conditions were extremely favorable for cash/beverage trading,” said Byron Seidler of the Board of Alcohol Consumption and Expenditure. “Drinkers’ confidence in the strength of the dollar, in their attractiveness to the opposite sex—even in their dart-playing abilities—rose sharply.”
“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — Benjamin Franklin
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If beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Then what about hangovers? Are they proof that God wants us to be repentant for being a little too happy last night?
Ummm… The Onion? That’s satire, not real news.
who said it wasn’t?
I saw the headline and thought “Wait a minute…”
Every once in a while you see a serious reference to the Onion in support of some point or other. This is a bit different, I think.
I want to know what the “index” is based on. 105.3 points of what?
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