WASHINGTON–The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.
What began as a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday ended with Bernanke passionately disavowing the entire concept of currency, and negating in an instant the very foundation of the world’s largest economy.
“Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we…if we…” said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter disbelief. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. None of this–this so-called ‘money’–really matters at all.”
“It’s just an illusion,” a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. “Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless.”
According to witnesses, Finance Committee members sat in thunderstruck silence for several moments until Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) finally shouted out, “Oh my God, he’s right. It’s all a mirage. All of it–the money, our whole economy–it’s all a lie!”
Screams then filled the Senate Chamber as lawmakers and members of the press ran for the exits, leaving in their wake aisles littered with the remains of torn currency…
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I read it in somewhat disbelief, that this would ever happen. Suddenly it gave me hope, and then I saw the link. Good find.
Why is it that the Onion, America’s Finest Fake News source, is the only news outlet accurately reporting the state of the dollar (albeit while inaccurately reporting the true definition of money)? Where exactly is the Associated Press on this thing?
These words are just black marks.
Is money borrowed from the Mafia also a meaningless social construct? Not to your knee caps.
Yes, but without money, you don’t have prices coordinating production… Which means that all market actors would be wandering aimlessly in the dark. I think Bernanke is warning us about the coming hyperinflation.
EIS,
Without money, you do have prices coordinating production, just inefficiently, because you have to know the price of computers in terms of shoes and the prices of hats in terms of mag wheels.
“Without money, you do have prices coordinating production, just inefficiently, because you have to know the price of computers in terms of shoes and the prices of hats in terms of mag wheels.”
Which makes any attempt at rational calculation entirely impossible. You would have to distinguish between the demand conditions for your product, and the demand conditions of other products (no standard unit of account).
Everything is food. I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today.
Wood pulp and ink do not deserve to be worshipped!
So, Bernanke thinks money is worthless, huh? Well, he would know, having made it worthless.
I’ll tell ya what….if/when this actually DOES happen, there’s going to be CHAOS in the streets! The sheep out there today just praise this worthless currency. It sickens me how i see friends/family or even the casual passer-by so freaked out over MONEY.
I can’t wait for the day it all falls down and people start caring for each other and working as one. What a great world it will be! ….Meanwhile, better stock up! the shelves are gonna be EMPTY QUICK!!
Trading with the Enemy
The Nazi – American Money Plot 1933-1949
by Charles Higham…Delacorte Press, 1983
http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Fascism/Trading_Enemy_excerpts.html
Preface
p xiii
…A number of financial and industrial figures of World War II and several members of the government served the cause of money before the cause of patriotism. While aiding the United States’ war effort, they also aided Nazi Germany’s.
p xiv
It thus came as a severe shock to learn that several of the greatest American corporate leaders were in league with Nazi corporations before and after Pearl Harbor, including I.G. Farben, the colossal Nazi industrial trust that created Auschwitz. Those leaders interlocked through an association I have dubbed The Fraternity. Each of these business leaders was entangled with the others through interlocking directorates or financial sources. All were represented internationally by the National City Bank or by the Chase National Bank and by the Nazi attorneys Gerhardt Westrick and Dr. Heinrich Albert. All had connections to that crucial Nazi economist, Emil Puhl, of Hitler’s Reichsbank and the Bank for International Settlements.
The tycoons were linked by an ideology: the ideology of Business as Usual. Bound by identical reactionary ideas, the members sought a common future in fascist domination regardless of which world leader might further that ambition.
Several members not only sought a continuing alliance of interests for the duration of World War II but supported the idea of a negotiated peace with Germany that would bar any reorganization of Europe along liberal lines. It would leave as its residue a police state that would place The Fraternity in postwar possession of financial, industrial, and political autonomy. When it was clear that Germany was losing the war the businessmen became notably more “loyal.”
Then, when war was over, the survivors pushed into Germany, protected their assets, restored Nazi friends to high office, helped provoke the Cold War, and insured the permanent future of The Fraternity.
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