For those who feel compelled to document progress in our times, here is a point to add. The music played when you are on hold for tech support has generally improved in recent years. It’s not perfect by a long stretch but it is getting there.
For those too young to remember the bad old days, I have one word for you: trumpets. It was a cool jazz with trumpet doing the melody line, and then it would be followed by a spontaneous improvisation, which is fine the first time around.
But of course the nature of tech-support is that you are on hold for 10 minutes up to an hour, so of course the music must loop. The trumpet is fine once or twice but 10, 20, 30 times? It loses spontaneity. Then it gets on your nerves. Then it makes you crazy. Then you can’t stand it anymore. Finally you hang up, rattled and disoriented, and open the web chat feature or fix the problem yourself.
And maybe that was the point after all. Every good tech support person knows that the number one best way to fix a problem is to delay as long as possible, thereby creating massive frustration on the part of the end-user, which in turn gets the creative juices flowing to the point that the user fixes his or her own problem.
Tech support did its job! You see, this was not a market failure. It was an efficient management strategy. There is nothing worse than a tech-support person who is always there for you, babying you at every step. This does as much good for a person’s technical education as a GPS does for one’s sense of direction. Too much, too fast, tech support can actually dumb us down.
Of course a greater challenge that tech support faces is how to keep people from calling in the first place. The trumpet-based hold music eventually gave way to extended electronic instructions to reboot your computer, and over a period of time the calls diminished, understandably.
At some point, it became more likely that serious people were the main callers and so it became important not to annoy people to the point of insanity.
The other day I experienced some tech-support hold music that was genuinely interesting and over a long period of time. The background had a long wave to it that suggested a kind of forward motion indicating that something progressive was taking place. On top of that was a mild percussive rhythm that had an inviting quality. Then as a separate motif, there was a regular pattern of a digital clapping sound, one that you can sort of mimic with your mouth, which gives you something to do while on hold.
Even today, however, some companies persist in playing music with a singer yammering on about love or some social theme. This is terrible because it effectively prevents multitasking, so while you are on hold, your whole life is on hold. Then every once-in-a-while a voice comes on to tell you to continue to hold because your call is important. The less of this the better, since it is obviously not true. And it raises credibility questions in the caller’s mind.
Even the best possible singing, for example, a choir singing Machaut’s amazing Messe Notre Dame, would be a disaster for holding on the phone. It just wouldn’t convey that sense of urgency and progressive passage of time that is essential to quality hold music.
Actually, one can imagine worse. The Jonas Brothers come to mind.
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The mantra of tech support:
“If we ignore the customers long enough, maybe they’ll go away.”
I would love to hear the Masse while on hold, you could just forget about all your cares and drift away.
On another note however – come the revolution can we make one small, non-libertarian law? I propose to enshrine it in a universal law that no man shall subject another man to a tinny rendition of the first Brandenburg concerto while on hold. One can clearly see the exceptional nature of this crime, can’t you?
As a lover of good jazz, I must correct your terminology. The type of music mentioned early in the post would better be described as “smooth jazz” – a genre that developed out of the jazz/rock fusion of the 70s. “Cool jazz” generally refers to a genre of the 50s and 60s that notably includes Dave Brubeck and Geri Mulligan.
Great post!
When it comes to Machaut’s music, I tend to prefer the ballades and virelai. I am especially fond of “Quant Je Sui Mis Au Retour.”
Very simple. Lovely. The best example of’”yammering about love” ever. (It’s best done in 14th-century French.)
Is it possible that ANY music would become annoying if heard over the phone while waiting for help? Even Beethoven’s Seventh or Martinu’s Sixth symphonies would tax one’s patience.
Then again, I’d be annoyed when the help finally did arrive, interrupting Beethoven’s slow movement. Rubbing the tears out of my eyes, I’d ask for the music back.
On the other hand, I can imagine 911 music. It would probably be rap.
I put a recording of the phone companies “disconnect” dual tone on my answering machine. After a minute, the normal beep sounds and takes a message. Telemarketing robots hear the “DO DO DOO” tones and then the usual “Your call cannot be completed as dialed…” After hearing that, the robot will remove the number from it’s list as “disconnected”.
Works for Clients too! Which is why they call my cell…
Perhaps if the music was New-age and the voice was hypotheraputic…”Sit back and relax, take a deep breath and visualize your computer flying gently across the room and into a warm fuzzy heap inside the trash can…There, all better! When I count to three, open your eys and. CLICK”
http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=25
A little bit of Lemmy brightens anyone’s day.
I would prefer strictly instrumental music. Some french 17h composers for the viol. Marin Marais, Forqueray, or some some sweet compositions by Kapsberger.
No voice. Here in Europe when calling Vodafone services they have an awful and irritating Vodafone song. Solution: put the phone down and pick it up when the musical misery ends, thus indicating someone is answering. Yes you don’t pick their name but you can always ask later.
I would prefer strictly instrumental music. Some french 17h composers for the viol. Marin Marais, Forqueray, or some some sweet compositions by Kapsberger.
No voice. Here in Europe when calling Vodafone services they have an awful and irritating Vodafone song. Solution: put the phone down and pick it up when the musical misery ends, thus indicating someone is answering. Yes you don’t pick their name but you can always ask later.
May I ask where you found such nice hold music?
OMG, the person who put that music on Youtube is going to be sued for millions of dollars!
Jamendo provides amazing service for providing Creative Commons(copyright free) music for all sorts of phone hold music.
http://pro.jamendo.com/en/
I think they should provide options on the phone to choose the channel of music you wanna hear. LOL!
Of course a greater challenge that tech support faces is how to keep people from calling in the first place.
This problem has already been solved by a number of companies I’ve had trouble with (Symantec comes to mind): simply do not provide a phone number, or put it on a page where no-one will ever find it.
I’m old enough to remember when being on hold meant you were listening to a very quiet tick-tick-tick sound that coincided with the receiving phone’s blinking hold button light. I really miss that. It was just enough to let you know that you were not disconnected but not so much as to distract.
Whenever I have the opportunity to speak with someone who has any management authority over such things, I strongly suggest that music-on-hold systems be equipped with a defeat function, say pressing the star key, to mute the music. That way I can put my desk phone in speakerphone mode without infuriating my nearby office-mates. I self-servingly invite all interested parties to do likewise!
I recently called the local Department of Motor Vehicles and unexpectedly had pure silence for 20 minutes while I waited. At first, I was concerned I had lost the connection, but I became calm and appreciated not having to tune out some annoying music or the worse “Did you know that …” every minute that some have.
I’ll have to try pressing * (and perhaps other buttons) next time I’m on hold. If it redirects my call, I’ll just say that I was trying to silence the annoying music/talking while I was on hold.
charming post. upright one unimportant where I bicker with it. I am emailing you in detail.
Jeff Tucker,
Excellent post. I have been doing research for hours trying to find out the song name for the music on hold for number (804) 201-4409. From the description you have it seems to be the same song i heard that i have grown fond of. If anyone knows who this song is by, or what the title is i would be so great full! I have literally spent 3 hours researching. Thanks in advance for your time and efforts.
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